I think I’ve learned more in the past four years of parenthood, than I ever learned in all my years of college. My AA, BS, and both MAs did a meager job in preparing me for motherhood. I think most parents would agree with me when I say, this is a whole different ball game.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m NOT complaining! In fact I’m a little embarrassed to admit this, but I think I learn more from my children than they do from me!
Am I the only one that feels this way??
I’d like to share with you all that I learned from my children today.
1. Think of others before yourself.
This morning my sleepy, half naked 4 year-old walks into our bathroom rubbing her eyes. Kevin gently asks, “Why are you awake, sugar bear? You should still be sleeping.” Without hesitation, Laynie lovingly replied, “Daddy, I didn’t want to miss you leaving for work.”
How precious is that? She could’ve rolled over and gone back to sleep…but no, she doesn’t want to miss a second of daddy time. I must admit, when it comes to things like sleep, I’m not thinking of anyone but myself.
2. It’s ok to cry.
About an hour later, Gideon had OT. I love his OT, but Gideon is not a fan. She makes him do the hard work. And as much as he wants the comforting arms of his mama, he’s got to do it. And although it breaks my heart to see him struggle and cry, I know it’s best for him.
In this moment today, I wondered if this is how God feels when I’m crying. He would love to pick me up and spare me the pain and tears, but He knows something better will come from my struggle.
3. Focus on what matters.
Fast forward to 11 am, I’m trying to quickly get in-and-out of the chiropractor’s office and of course, both kids have to poop and now Gideon is screaming because he’s starving. After both bottoms are clean and a bottle is made, Gideon is lying on the couch (feeding himself no less) and Laynie for the millionth time says “Mommy…look! Really look!”
She found a Tonka Truck and apparently it did a million cool things. And in that moment, my first thought was, “I don’t care about Tonka Trucks!”
But my toy preference wasn’t what mattered here. Laynie was. And something was new and exciting to her and because she’s worthy of my love, affection, and attention, I had a responsibility (and a privilege really) to focus on HER. She (and Gideon) matter.
4. Don’t take people for granted
After being thrown off my “schedule”, we still found time to grab lunch and eat with Mimi. I hate to admit this, but we rushed in and rushed out. I kept trying to shove food down Laynie, but she was persistent in loving on and playing with Mimi. Unlike my daughter, I most often take time with my mom for granted. Laynie never does. To her, Mimi hung the moon & the stars.
Adulthood sometimes takes the luster out of life. We forget that those we love won’t always be here. Laynie reminded me today how I shouldn’t take those I love for granted…especially my mama.
5. I’m never really lost.
On our way to Southlake, we got lost because my phone hasn’t been updated since ios5 (yes, I’m an old lady who doesn’t like change…but that’s a whole other issue). In my frustration, I blurted out, “Well, we’re lost!” And leave it to Laynie to respond with, “Mom! God always finds us! I bet He’s looking for us right now!”
I’m sorry, what 4 year old says things like that?? Apparently, mine does. Wise want-to-be-eighteen-woman that she is… Sometimes I feel like God speaks through her just to make a point. Maybe the point today was that we’re never really lost…just too busy to notice God is there.
6. True beauty is within.
After leaving the hair appointment I was afraid we’d never get to, Laynie tells me how beautiful we both look. My initial thought was, “Well you do, but I have no make-up on, none of my clothes fit…” I’ll stop there with the self tear down. You see where I’m going don’t you?
My definition of beauty has been tainted by mainstream media. Laynie sees my heart and she loves me the way I am. She hasn’t yet been taught by the world to judge by appearances. And I’ll be a fool if she learns it from me. So my response to her sweet compliment was, “We really do, don’t we???”
And while we’re talking about visible beauty, what about my Gideon? He may never know what his mama looks like, but you know what? His love for me & others will never be conditional upon appearance. How refreshing is that in a world that bases beauty & worth on our exterior?
7. Problems are solvable.
After dinner, we had to go to Laynie’s ballet class. But before we left, she wanted to help make Gideon’s bottle. I told her no, because we were in a hurry (are you seeing a pattern here?), but because she was insistent, powdered similac went all down the front of her leotard. My response- “See Laynie, now it’s all over your leotard!” Her response- “Well, mom, we can always just dust it off!”
Yes…yes we can. Looking back how silly for me to be upset. All I could see was something happened that I was trying to avoid…and here is my 4 year old, with a simple solution to my perceived problem. Who’s the adult here? Problems are solvable.
8. Just dance
Laynie loves life. It’s apparent in all she does- especially in her dance class. I don’t want to sound like a mean parent, but Laynie got Kevin’s sense of rhythm (or lack there of). But she doesn’t care. She’s that little girl, front a center, off beat but smiling, and pushing through to the end because she loves to take a bow and she loves the applause.
It doesn’t matter whose watching. Some days you just gotta dance.
9. Roll with it.
Poor Gideon, we drug him through a lot today. After some hard therapy, we drove all over the DFW area and Gideon just rolled with it. As long as he was fed and dry, he was content to roll in the stroller and chew on some toys.
I don’t remember the last time I was content to just roll with the events as they unfolded. Wouldn’t life be easier, if we could just take the day as it comes? Roll with the punches?
I love my kids. Like most parents, I think they’re pretty stinkin’ awesome. Crazy to think God would loan me such unique gifts. And if I would ever just slow down, all of my days could be spent savoring each moment that has been given. Like Laynie and Gideon, I would realize that life can be (and was meant to be) enjoyed!!
If I could go back to this morning, I would tell the 6:30 AM “me” to slow down, take a deep breath and get ready….because today is going to be a great day full of God-given blessings. Don’t miss it because of your “schedule.”
You probably will never quite know how many people your posts touch, and help to give a different perspective! Unfortunatly…. I don’t know you…I just happened upon your site somehow out of the blue…thru someone else’s I suppose and it helps so much with so many things I am faced with. Thankyou for your insight and sharing it! May God Bless you all! have a Very Merry Christmas and Great 2014!
Karen, thank you so much for your encouraging words! I’m glad to hear that what I write helps gives a different perspective. (I have to credit my kids for that though! lol!) Thank you for reading and for messaging me. God bless & Merry Christmas to you and yours! 🙂
You are such a gifted and blessed child of GOD with your wisdom and inspiration ! Children are very good teachers and very wise, if given lots of love and attention. Thank you’se for being there for my GRANDCHILDREN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!LOVE YA’LL!!!!
Carol!!! You’re making me cry, stop it! Lol!! I just love you!!!!!
Most of your posts I get to the end and think “Wow, she has surely said it all” what a powerful day you all had! 🙂 Love your blog so much.
Genevie, this made me laugh! When I re-read before posting this last night I thought, “Surely no one cares about my day!” Lol!! Thanks for taking the time to read and message me! And as always, thanks for the encouragement!!
This is my favorite one so far.
Thanks! 🙂
I have been a follower of your blog for about 2 months now. Each time I read a posting I come away feeling truly blessed. The love relationship you have with the Lord is deep and the overflow of that love to your family shines. No matter what the Lord allows in our life, I am thankful the He equips us to go through those things, good, bad and the ugly. Glory be to God for who He is and praise be to Him who has given you a gift of joy and the ability to share His great love in and through the “lot” He has allowed you to have. Merry Christmas!
Helen, thank you for taking the time to follow our journey and for messaging me about it!! I appreciate your encouraging words- they are truly a blessing. Glory and praise to God indeed for our sweet Gideon and the lives he’s able to touch!! Despite our circumstances, God is still (now and forever) good. Merry Christmas to you and yours as well!!
I look forward to your blogs for so many reasons. I learn what a mother’s perspective is like with a child who has disabilities. Yours and Kevin’s experience with your children has made me more conscientious about how I deliver words to parents of “my” children with visual impairments. My love for working in the area of helping blind children and adults has deepened.
Did you know that in the HIspanic culture it is believed that special children are a gift from God? Many of my Hispanic parents believe that they were chosen specifically to receive this special gift. I believe this as well. I think I have voiced that it is my belief that God made a wonderful choice with you and Kevin as a perfect fit for Laynie and Gideon. God has blessed you with his most precious gifts–His children. I do not even feel like I am worthy enough to say this to you! You live it, love it, and fulfill God’s will every day!
Most of all–thank you for sharing some of what could be your deepest thoughts and secrets. It helps me to grow as a teacher and a Christian. You have no idea how you have touched my life. I am a single mom and it is so easy to get into that “poor pitiful me” routine. My house is not as clean as it should be–sometimes we have to dig to find a pair of socks! And thank God for the small things like “mismatched socks” being the “in” thing, and let’s just hope the trend continues because it makes life easier.
I hope you enjoy your time off together for the holidays. Merry Christmas!
Melissa
Melissa,
First of all, thank you so much for your encouragement. I know I say this a lot, but it lifts my spirits to know that people are touched by Gideon’s story. I want his life to be as full and meaningful to the world while he’s here.
Second, God bless you for working with special needs kids and adults. As a former teacher, working with special needs kids was not my forte. It requires a lot of love, patience, and endurance. God’s definitely given you your own special calling in life. 🙂 Praise Him for willing hearts like yours!
I believe with all my heart that God loans us specific kids. Laynie and Gideon were meant to be ours. I love what you wrote about the Hispanic culture. Children like Gideon are unique gifts and while all children are full of purpose, special needs kids have a different kind of purpose- they truly melt the hearts of those they meet. They remind us to stop and think about what’s really important in life.
Finally, I want to encourage you, keep your chin up. You’re doing a fantastic job!!! I was a single mom for my entire pregnancy and the first 6 months of Laynie’s life. I tell you that not to compare our lives, but to say my heart goes out to you because it was the scariest time of my life. Therefore, I cannot even imagine the struggles you face day to day. My counselor (early on in my pregnancy) told me that Jesus was now my husband and would meet all my needs if I would only let him. It sounded absolutely ridiculous at the time, but as I dug into the scripture and spent time with my Lord I found it was true! He did meet my needs and supplied my life with His peace. I let go of my “what-ifs?” and began to trust what His word promised.
I’m lifting you up in prayer this evening my friend. Don’t worry about your house. Or the laundry. It’ll get done when it gets done. I heard the happiest kids live in the messiest houses. If that’s true, mine are truly content!! 🙂
Love your kiddos today and let the Lord take care of tomorrow. God bless you and yours!
Merry Christmas!
Thanks I so needed that today!!
I wrote it just for you. Wink, wink. 🙂
Love you my friend!!
I love reading ur blogs sam. I love ur kiddos too. Ir whole family brings me such joy mo matter wat is going on in my life.
Miss you guys.
Thanks Malori!!! I really appreciate that! Merry Christmas! 🙂
Thanks Sam…….needed to hear what a wonderful day you had. Just love ya’ll so much!
Love you mama!!!