Dear Gideon


Dear Gideon,

It still seems unreal to me, what are the odds this would occur?
To know that my time with you is limited…it’s still all such a blur.

I keep thinking I’ll wake up and this dream will finally end.
But I can’t awake from this one, for reasons I’ll never comprehend.

As we gaze into the future, everything looks so hard & unfair.
The life you were given has so many obstacles.. it’s more than I can bear.

No one goes through life unscathed; life hurdles are a guarantee.
But watching my baby slowly die, My God, how can You let this be??

I’ve disputed this with God; it’s not the life for you I planned.
But I never had a say in it, He knew you..and loved you…before time began.

He knew you’d be born this way and all the trials life would entail.
He knew my heart would break and ache, He knows the feeling well.

God sacrificed his Son for us and until now, I never really knew…
How heartbreaking it must have been to watch, but the cross saved me and you.

So forgive me son for the days I cry, I’m doing the best I can.
I’m trying hard to see just how this all fits into God’s plan.

I surrendered my life long ago, before then I was completely lost.
I didn’t realize surrendering meant that someday there would be a cost.

Your life will touch so many others, my heart knows that is true.
And as hard as it will be at times, we will still praise God for giving us you.

A mighty warrior you have been and I know you will continue to be.
As you journey down this unknown road, your life will cause others to bow the knee.

You’ll show them the way back to the heart of God… just like you were destined to do.
And people will come to know Jesus…and be in Heaven because of you.

So let me close by proclaiming our love; we love you infinity & beyond measure!!
Please know we fight alongside you, and every moment we get, we deeply, deeply treasure.

Mommy, Daddy, and Sissy

26 thoughts on “Dear Gideon

  1. Thank you for sharing your heart, faith, struggles with us. I love your openness and trust in God in such a hard situation. Praise God that it’s drawing you deeper into God’s own heart. You inspire us with how you keep turning to him, helping us to find him in our own trials — an example of 2 Cor. 1:3ff at work.

    Praying for Gideon, you, your family. Love from your sister in Christ who you don’t know πŸ™‚

    1. Thank you Kristi for your kind words. I appreciate it more than you know! Even though I don’t know you, I feel grateful to know I have a sister in Christ who is encouraging me and praying our family through this. God bless you and yours!! πŸ™‚

  2. OMG!How beautifully put.I love you’se with all my heart.My heart is breaking,but I know GOD will be with us on this journey !

  3. What an beautiful, heartfelt poem, Sam! I help keep my 9th month old granddaughter and can’t even begin to imagine what you going through. However, you are living proof that God’s grace is sufficient. Thanks for writing your blog. It has been an inspiration to all. I am sharing it with my husband, daughter and daughter-in-law, so his little short life will live on through others. Thanks for letting God use you and his little “Mighty Warrior” to bless others.

    1. Thanks Vicki! His grace IS sufficient. I’m glad to know my little warrior’s story is touching lives. Thanks for messaging me and reading my blog friend! πŸ™‚ God bless you and yours!

  4. Sam, I want you to know that I love you, Kevin and Lainey and pray for your family everyday and little Gideon, such a precious little angel. Call me sometime.

  5. Good words to cling to today from Max Lucado…..Acts 17:27 reminds us, β€œHe is not far from each of us.” The Psalmist determined, β€œWhen I am afraid, I will trust in You.”
    I’m reminded of the words of an old but familiar hymn, β€œWhen all around my soul gives way, He then is still my hope and stay!” Cling to His unchanging character. God is faithful. He is not caught off guard. He uses everything for His glory and your ultimate good. You will get through this…………..
    We love you all and will keep you in our prayers.

    1. Good words indeed!! I absolutely LOVE that Hymn and Max Lucado. One thing my husband and I talked about is that God was not surprised nor shocked by Gideon’s diagnosis. We know he will use it for his glory. It does not make it easy, but it does give us hope. Thank you for taking the time to message me. We appreciate your prayers. God bless!

  6. Samantha……I am so blessed to be your mom. My heart is breaking along side of yours and my prayer is simply peace. I love you, honey.

  7. Sam, you have always been mature in your faith. You are an amazing Godly woman, I hope I can have just an ounce of your faith! Thank you for blessing all of us with sharing your heart! Praying!

    1. Thanks Sherri, it’s only mature because of people like you. How many of your Beth Moore bible studies did I attend?? Lol. πŸ™‚ You’ve blessed me with your example. We love you and are praying for you guys as well.

  8. I was lead to your blog by Mama Laughlin’s post yesterday. You and your family will be in my prayers. This poem was absolutely beautiful. You have a beautiful family. You are much stronger than I believe that I could even be. You are a very Godly woman and are truly an inspiration. Gideon is extremely lucky to spend the time he has with the family he was given to.

    1. Becky, thank you so much for messaging me. I appreciate your encouraging words and support. I was always told that we can’t imagine going through someone else’s trials because God doesn’t equip us with that grace until its needed. I would never imagine myself having this kind of out look before my son was diagnosed. Now that this season is upon us, I can feel God’s presence, His peace, and His grace that sustains me. We feel very lucky that God gave us Gideon. He’s such a joy (even though he doesn’t sleep much! Lol). Thank you for reading my blog and praying for my family. We truly appreciate it!! God bless you and Mama Laughlin!!

    1. Sorry you sat in tears, not sorry you sat in faith! If it makes you feel any better, I cried the entire time I wrote it. πŸ™‚ Jesus is good. Love you cousin!

  9. The faith you and Kevin show to your children and everyone else around you is amazing. Thank you so much for sharing your feelings and your faith!

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