Pleading with God

Please God, just let him sleep!!

I wonder how many times in the past 14 months I’ve said those exact words. If you’re a parent, chances are you’re all too familiar with that particular plea.

It’s the cry of my heart every time I put Gideon down for a nap or for the night….it was my plea today in the wee hours of the morning (2:30 am) as Gideon sounded like he was auditioning for a Soprano-1 part on Broadway.

I’ve told people recently that I’m not sure whether or not Gideon sleeps through the night any more. And up until this morning, that was true. But now I know he’s definitely not.

Last night I fell asleep with Laynie in her room…which is just across the hall from Gideon. Bad move on my part. You see, we’re mean parents at the Jolicoeur household. Since most kids with PBD have trouble sleeping, we have decided to turn the monitor off, shut the door, & turn on a loud fan…just so we don’t hear Gideon talk or cry.

In fact, I’m one sleepless night away from turning his room sound proof.

Sounds harsh, I know.

But when Gideon was about 10 months old I found myself in that “crazy place.” We moms don’t talk about the crazy place for two reasons- fear of judgement or because we’ve never truly been there. For most moms, the crazy place means that we understand why the nurses had to tell us “when the child is inconsolable, put him down and walk away…DON’T shake the baby!” If you can’t relate, then you had the perfect child- congrats to you.

So back to my early morning plea…God answered my plea at about 3:50 am but since my alarm goes off at 4:20 (for P31), I decided there was no point in going back to bed. To say I was frustrated would be an understatement.

Looking back on it now, I have to admit that my 2:30-am-self was angry with God. Even though He heard and answered my prayers, it wasn’t fast enough. He didn’t allow enough time for me to be able to go back to sleep.

Have you ever felt as if God’s timing is off? Sometimes in my pleading with the Lord I have to stop and read Isaiah 55:8-9 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” 

Obviously the Lord knows something we do not. Therefore, we don’t get a say in the how-and-when-department regarding the plans of Lord. We have to trust that he’s molding and shaping us for whatever is to come. And if that means I conquer today on four hours of sleep, then so be it. His grace will be sufficient and I will lay my head down tonight (with ear plugs if necessary) and I will sleep then.

Maybe you’re like me and you know today is going to be tough- All the more reason to put your hope in the Lord now. Let me leave you with Isaiah 40:31-

But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.



12 thoughts on “Pleading with God

  1. Praying for you today Sam as you go throughout the day with limited sleep. I can usually make it through the day just fine when I do without one night’s sleep. I cannot began to imagine your life as this has become your “normal”. Don’t you wish you could be like Lanie and sleep through it?!! I will pray everyone in your household gets a good night’s sleep tonight.

    1. Vicki,

      Thank you for your prayers! It’s gotten better and most nights I don’t hear him. But yes, I wish I slept as hard as Laynie. 🙂 She’s such a trooper. Thanks again for lifting us up. God bless!

  2. I am more than willing to come and stay with Gideon all night so that you can get a good nights sleep. Please
    Let me know if I can help you in any way.

    1. Thanks Sheila! 🙂 My mom and MIL came over mid week to help out. In fact last night I got 9 hours of sleep. It was GLORIOUS! But I so appreciate the offer and will keep you in mind for next time!! God bless!!

  3. In the name of Jesus, may your presence, power, and provisions be closely sensed in the Jolicoeur family’s day to day and night to night experiences. May they each get needed rest and peace that only you can give.

  4. Samantha,

    I cannot tell you how much your posts touch me and remind me to be so very thankful for the loving God that we have. I sometimes–way too much–take things for granted–like sleep. I have no idea how you function on so little sleep and take care of a household, husband, two children (one with special needs) and the list goes on.

    You are WONDERWOMAN!

    I have never met you–but I just know this about you through your honesty and truth in your blogs. I DO know how it is so easy to spin out of control with two children, a husband, and a list of things to do that are absolutely critical. I literally found myself wanting to rear back and kick my daughter’s walker (with her in it–no less) as hard and far as I could. Not a proud moment in motherhood–something I did NOT do (Thank you, Jesus)–but oh how I understood at that very moment what weariness could do to a parent. Even the love for my child with every ounce of my being did not stop me from feeling enraged and out of control.

    AND I learned that I was a super mother–but it was not in me to be a stay at home mom. I could work part-time, volunteer, whatever it took for me to get out for some ME time and I was a much better person all the way around. That was so hard for me to admit–that I could not handle what I wanted so badly to succeed at. I admire you for being able to stay at home, admit your faults, start over every day and live your life through the Lord.

    Chin up, young lady (easy for me to say). You are AWESOME and do not forget it! Isaiah
    is one of my very favorite books in the bible. I think I could read it a million times over and find more to grow from each time–so let me share one of my very favorite verses.
    Isaaiah 41:10

    So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

    Much love to you and yours–

    1. Melissa,

      I’m so grateful when other moms can be honest about how hard motherhood is.. I think we find ourselves lying about how “good” things are just because we are worried what others will think of us. I think admitting our struggles keeps us humble and makes us better parents. Plus it encourages others who are struggling. So thank you for your honesty and thank you for your encouragement- it means a lot.

      I know without a doubt that the only reason I make it through each day is because of the Lord. He hears my cries, knows my faults and loves/blesses me anyways. Thanks so much for taking time to follow our journey. I’m a most appreciative.

      God bless!

  5. ok I have to admit my child with no PBD sometimes will not sleep for the life of him. And we also would love a sound proof room. I always think as long I have tried everything and he’s safe, then mommy and daddy need some sleep and he is just going to have to work it out. Other mom’s probably think we’re mean. But there’s really nothing else you can do. This went on for a week for us. Who knows what was going on with the him. But I can’t imagine all you go through consistently. I’m in awe of you, you are supermom to the fullest!

    1. Thanks Jacey! You’re a super mom as well! 🙂 It’s hard to let them cry it out, but sometimes it must be done! We call that Gideon’s “quiet time” with the Lord. Hahaha.. he’s anything but quiet! Thanks for the encouragement! Love you friend!!

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