Please God, just let him sleep!!
I wonder how many times in the past 14 months I’ve said those exact words. If you’re a parent, chances are you’re all too familiar with that particular plea.
It’s the cry of my heart every time I put Gideon down for a nap or for the night….it was my plea today in the wee hours of the morning (2:30 am) as Gideon sounded like he was auditioning for a Soprano-1 part on Broadway.
I’ve told people recently that I’m not sure whether or not Gideon sleeps through the night any more. And up until this morning, that was true. But now I know he’s definitely not.
Last night I fell asleep with Laynie in her room…which is just across the hall from Gideon. Bad move on my part. You see, we’re mean parents at the Jolicoeur household. Since most kids with PBD have trouble sleeping, we have decided to turn the monitor off, shut the door, & turn on a loud fan…just so we don’t hear Gideon talk or cry.
In fact, I’m one sleepless night away from turning his room sound proof.
Sounds harsh, I know.
But when Gideon was about 10 months old I found myself in that “crazy place.” We moms don’t talk about the crazy place for two reasons- fear of judgement or because we’ve never truly been there. For most moms, the crazy place means that we understand why the nurses had to tell us “when the child is inconsolable, put him down and walk away…DON’T shake the baby!” If you can’t relate, then you had the perfect child- congrats to you.
So back to my early morning plea…God answered my plea at about 3:50 am but since my alarm goes off at 4:20 (for P31), I decided there was no point in going back to bed. To say I was frustrated would be an understatement.
Looking back on it now, I have to admit that my 2:30-am-self was angry with God. Even though He heard and answered my prayers, it wasn’t fast enough. He didn’t allow enough time for me to be able to go back to sleep.
Have you ever felt as if God’s timing is off? Sometimes in my pleading with the Lord I have to stop and read Isaiah 55:8-9 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
Obviously the Lord knows something we do not. Therefore, we don’t get a say in the how-and-when-department regarding the plans of Lord. We have to trust that he’s molding and shaping us for whatever is to come. And if that means I conquer today on four hours of sleep, then so be it. His grace will be sufficient and I will lay my head down tonight (with ear plugs if necessary) and I will sleep then.
Maybe you’re like me and you know today is going to be tough- All the more reason to put your hope in the Lord now. Let me leave you with Isaiah 40:31-
But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.