“Hang on… just a second… wait!!” I wonder how many times I say those words to my daughter on a given day. If I had to guess, I’d say too many.

I don’t like waiting. Who does? And yet, I expect my almost-four-year-old to wait-as if she was born with an infinite amount of patience!

It seems like she always wants me to play or watch her do something when I’m trying to take care of Gideon or the house. Many of those things are important and I can justify most of them. But isn’t my daughter just as important and worthy of my time? Absolutely!

Even as I type this my heart aches. You see, we have a behavior problem on our hands. Unfortunately the behavior problem lies with me, not Laynie. I’ve been feeding the lie that certain things need to get done at the expense of my children. Am I the only one guilty of this?

Obviously Laynie needs to wait if I’m feeding or changing Gideon, but why must she have to wait while I do household chores? Or worse, Facebook?? Sometimes things need to be done, but at the expense of losing time with my little girl and boy?? I think not!

I love Darius Rucker. His song puts it into perspective-

“He lays down there beside her, till her eyes finally close,
And just watching her it breaks his heart, cause he already knows,
It won’t be like this for long,
One day soon that little girl is gonna be all grown up and gone,
This phase is gonna fly by, if you can just hold on,
It won’t be like this for long.”

That song gets me every time…and with a sense of urgency. We’ve been given this precious time with our little ones. And they are only little for a moment, just ask an empty nester.

I’ve decided to make a conscious effort to stop asking my Laynie to wait. I’m also asking God help me realize in those moments that I don’t want to waste a second of her time on something that is far less important in the grand scheme of things. For Heavens sake, the laundry can wait! The phone calls can wait!! The time with our kids cannot wait!!

After all, if I’m not giving my kids the time and attention they need, some thing or someone else will. Time is the most valuable thing we can give them. It shows them we love them. It shows them we care. And most importantly it shows them that they matter.

And don’t we all long to know that we matter?

Let’s show our kids they matter. Let’s stop making them wait for our time.

I think most parents will agree with me when I say I want to provide for my kids. Especially when it comes to the essentials. I cannot fathom living day-to-day wondering how I’m going to meet all their needs. Unfortunately, life can be rough. And sometimes we have to withhold provisions from even our precious babies!

Yesterday Gideon had a second ABR (hearing test) in which he had to be sedated. And of course, with sedation comes starvation! I know it’s medically necessary, but withholding food from an infant? That’s just down right cruel! But this isn’t his first rodeo, so even though he knew the drill, he still protested. And rightfully so! The last time he had milk before his 9 am appointment was at 3 am! I’d protest too!

As Kevin and I were trying to console our screaming boy in the waiting room, we were talking about how much it sucks to withhold food from a hungry baby. And you know my man…wise old man that he is… He said, “It’s for his own good… Remember, sometimes God withholds things we need too.”

I just love my husband. He’s so right.

God knows what we need and yet sometimes he withholds those provisions. Even though He withholds, I imagine God still hurts for us. I like to think He cries with us even though He knows the final outcome will be better than anything else we could’ve imagined. (1 Corinthians 2:9)

Thankfully Gideon’s test went well…for the most part. There were some minor hiccups because my baby boy doesn’t like sleep anyways, and just to show how hard headed he is, he woke up twice from sedation!! He gets that strong will/stubbornness from his father. (Love you babe).

Although it was heartbreaking to watch at the time, withholding food from Gideon was obviously in his best interest. You see we knew something he didn’t know. He didn’t understand that he could’ve aspirated and choked during the sedation, had we fed him. All he knew was the rumble of pain in his belly- telling him food was needed now! And he let us know all about it!

Isn’t that how we all respond when provisions are withheld? We cry out to God “I need  _________ now!” You can fill that blank with any need- a job, healing, relief, money, a child, a spouse, a miracle, etc. We often forget that God knows our needs before we ask. (Matthew 6:8)

Are you in need right now? Maybe you’ve been in need for months, maybe years. Though you have fervently prayed for that need to be met, maybe God has withheld answering that prayer. Would you trust Him that He has something better in mind? Or maybe you’re like me and you’ve pleaded desperately for God to heal your loved one. Although He is able, He may not…for reasons we may never understand this side of Heaven. The apostle Paul knew all about that. (2 Corinthians 12:7)

Hard as your situation may be, you can be sure of this- Something bigger and better is at work!! 1 Corinthians 2:9 (HCSB) says “What eye did not see and ear did not hear, and what never entered the human mind—God prepared this for those who love Him.” Even though it may cause us tremendous heartache and an abundance of tears, our suffering is NEVER wasted.

I believe God will provide. Matthew 6:26 says, “Look at the birds of the air, they neither sow nor reap nor gather in barns, and yet your Heavenly Fathers feeds them.” But I also believe sometimes God allows us to stay in our continued state of longing so that we can persevere. After all our perseverance produces character, and character, hope. (Romans 5:3-4)

Gideon’s hope is in us to provide for his needs. He was hoping we would feed him; and because we knew something he didn’t, Gideon (unwillingly) had to wait. Would you put your Hope in Christ? And trust, just like an infant trusts his parents, that God will provide? Even if it’s not the outcome you were praying for…would you be satisfied to know that there’s purpose in the wait? God’s provisions are always worth the wait.

My husband’s birthday was yesterday and since we don’t exchange gifts, I wrote him this poem. Its based on a phrase he said to me a few weeks back.

We were talking about our genetic incompatibility and I was of course crying. He took my face in his hand and told me despite everything we would have to face, he still wouldn’t want to walk this road with anyone else but me. Did your heart just melt? Mine still does every time I think about that moment. We weren’t always in such a good place. I’m thanking God today that we are now.

So here it is. Hope you enjoy it.

Dear Kevin,

The way we came to be is laughable
Sometimes its hard to believe its true
But I wouldn’t want to walk this road with anyone else but you.

The distrust and hate seemed so unforgivable
It’s because of Christ alone we made it through
And I wouldn’t want to walk this road with anyone else but you.

Sweet times washed over us.
Our beautiful daughter and now a son too!!
I wouldn’t want to walk this road with anyone else but you.

Then the devastating news came.
Tears were abundant and words were few.
I still wouldn’t want to walk this road with anyone else but you.

Prayers went up, His grace fell.
With much support we felt a little less blue.
I wouldn’t want to walk this road with anyone else but you.

In a tender moment you held my face
And with these words my love for you grew
“I wouldn’t want to walk this road with anyone else but you.”

God’s still good, worthy of praise
That’s the one thing we always knew
Jesus, we wouldn’t want to walk this road together without You!

Love you more each day,
Sam