Category Archives: Parenting

Recovery From Baby Number 3

Recovery from baby number 3 was no joke. In fact, Josiah is 9 weeks old and of those past 9 weeks, we have been home for the last 3 weeks. Where were we for the first 6 weeks, you ask?? Allow me to explain.

I was not planning on having a cesarean. I have two other kids for crying out loud. Who has time for a cesarean when you have other children? Ain’t no mom got time for that! And to make things a bit more complicated, my middle son Gideon (age 3) is blind, deaf, non-verbal and he cannot walk or crawl. Needless to say, I pretty much do everything for him: feeding, diapering, moving from one activity to the next. He’s completely dependent on me during the day. And what’s the one thing I’m not allowed to do after a cesarean?Carry/pick up anything heavier than my newborn.

Did I mention Gideon is 27 pounds of dead weight?

So for the first 6 weeks of Josiah’s life, we temporarily moved in with my parents. Now this isn’t the worst thing that could have happened. After all, Kevin and I are both very blessed to have families willing (and eager!) to help… especially when it involves those grand-babies.

So why was I so upset those first few weeks that we stayed there? I mean, between my parents and Kevin’s parents, I pretty much didn’t have to lift a finger for my kids or myself. Meals were handled. I could nap when I needed to. So what was the big deal?

Answer: My pride.

I wasn’t just recovering from a c-section… I was recovering from my own self-reliance. Webster defines someone who is self-reliant as relying on one’s own powers and resources rather than those of others. 

I struggle with this the most when it comes to carrying for the special needs of my son. Not because I don’t trust others to care for him; after all, the grandparents know better than anyone how to care for him besides me and Kevin. If I’m being honest, I don’t want Gideon to ever feel like a burden to others. And I think that’s because there have been days when everything that goes into caring for him weighs heavy.. and it feels burdensome to me. 🙁

But trying to be self-reliant AND care for someone like Gideon will never work. That’s what I feel like the Lord has shown me over these past two months. I cannot do this alone. And the beautiful part is that I don’t have to. Between our families and friends, I don’t have to be self-reliant. I can allow others (and even ask others) for help when I need it so that those burdensome feelings for me are fewer and farther between.

Now here’s the cool part of these past 9 weeks. First, Josiah’s test results came back. He does NOT have PBD!! (We figured, but it’s nice to have confirmation!) And second, Gideon’s name came up on the Deaf Blind Multiple Disabilities List of Texas, which means the state will now PAY for someone to come in and help me with his care for 8 hours a day!!! And thankfully the people we got to hire are my mom, my mother-in-law and my sister-in-law. How freaking cool is that?!

The past 9 weeks have been a whirlwind. I cried when we found out we were approved for respite services. Although I don’t know why I’m always so surprised. Given our history, it’s clear that the Lord’s provisions are always on time.

Dear God,

Forgive me for trying to do the hard things on my own. Praise you Father for always providing as you continue to make me more Christ-reliant.

Sincerely,

A Recovering Self-Reliant

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Josiah David Jolicoeur

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Meet Josiah David Jolicoeur.

This little guy made his way into the world Friday via c-section at 12:19 pm. He was 7 lbs 3 oz and 21 inches long.

My contractions began at 3:30 am and we made it to the hospital around 5:30 am. I was unable to have a VBAC because his heart rate dropped as labor progressed. (This same thing happened with our 2nd child, Gideon…it was like deja vu.) Turns out the cord was around Josiah’s neck as well as his abdomen. Apparently my kids have long umbilical cords.

I cried as they wheeled me down to the operating room. It may sound silly, but having another c-section was the last thing I wanted to do. I began to relive the fear that surrounded Gideon’s birth.  My husband prayed over me as they pulled Josiah from distress.

When Kevin finished praying, we heard something beautiful… Josiah’s cry. It was strong and loud. As Kevin went over to the baby table, I heard him asking a thousand questions. Does he have an abnormally large fontanel? Does he have a deep sacral dimple? Are his feet turned in? Does he look unusual to you guys?…

These are just some of the abnormalities that Josiah’s big brother Gideon had at birth. They were the oddities that led us down a dark path, searching for answers as to what was wrong with our sweet Gideon.

As far as we can tell, Josiah has none of those abnormalities!! However, it will still be several weeks for that test to be confirmed. For now, Josiah appears to be healthy, alert and strong. In fact, after they stitched me up and took me to recovery, he latched on and nursed immediately!!

And of course, the whole family is in love with him.

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Stay tuned… Josiah David Jolicoeur is sure to make our lives a bit more interesting.

Overdue

So today I had an appointment to check on baby Josiah. And unfortunately it looks like he’s going to be overdue.  I’ll be 40 weeks this Wednesday and I was hoping for some more progressive news. Especially since last Monday my doctor said I was dilated to 4 centimeters and Josiah was settled down low.

Clearly things have changed.

So here’s what happened- the doctor checked me (twice) and both times she couldn’t reach my cervix!! Apparently Josiah has retreated north, away from the exit. I can’t blame him. He had Luby’s last night for dinner and ice cream for dessert. Who would want to leave that kind of environment?!

All that to say, I’m pretty certain he’s going to be overdue just like his brother and sister before him. This is really all Kevin’s fault. I recently found out from my mother in law that Kevin was 15 days PAST his due date!! Are you kidding me?!? This explains so much, not just about our kids but about every fight we’ve ever had about what it means to “be on time.” I’m always 15 minutes early and Kevin’s just fine being 15 minutes late. But that’s another blog for another day.

For now, I’m betting that Josiah will be overdue and chronically late the rest of his life…just like his daddy.  😉

So my next appointment is Monday the 25th as I am trying to go into labor on my own. If they induce me, the medication could cause my previous c-section scar to rupture.

I’m praying I go into labor on my own before Thursday of this week since my doctor is going out of town this Friday.

Stay tuned. I’m sure it’ll be interesting no matter what happens.