I hate detours. In my opinion they are one of the most frustrating things in the world.

Seriously, you have a destination in mind and you have already planned how you will get there. You’re going along and all of a sudden you find your chosen path is shut down & you must now find another way.

This happened to me yesterday… twice!! I was taking Gideon to therapy and had to turn around from my chosen path because of an unexpected detour. I made the decision to head down a different road only to find that my alternate route was also blocked with yet another detour.

Since I was already 30 minutes late, I made the decision that Gideon’s therapy was not where we were meant to go that day. So I turned my car in the opposite direction of therapy and we went somewhere else entirely.

I feel like detours have popped up many times in my life recently. Maybe you feel the same. Life doesn’t always go as planned and if we’re honest, we hate that- because ultimately that means we cannot not always be in control.

Ever since Gideon made his arrival 15 months ago, I feel like we’ve been forced down one big detour that has only led to several more detours. Just when we think we’ve found our way, we hit another road block.

Our most recent detour has to do with Gideon eating. He was eating 9 oz of food per day plus three 8 oz bottles. He is still taking his bottles but now eats 1-3 oz of food each day. Granted this isn’t terrible like it was in January (when he wasn’t eating or drinking) but it’s still a detour that causes frustration and concern.

But I think figured out the remedy for detours.

Yesterday as I turned around for the second time, I finally asked God, “What plans do you have for us today?” After all Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

While I didn’t get an audible answer from Him, I did get a phone call from my mom.

She asked if we could all go to Chuck-E-Cheese (something Laynie has been begging to do for sometime now). So that’s what we did. We threw out our daily routine and spent some much needed family time laughing and playing. Which as it turns out, was something I desperately needed.

Yesterday’s detour turned out better than the road I was on. Isn’t it interesting how even life’s biggest detours lead to some of the biggest blessings? Gideon’s life touching others is just one example.

I guess it’s my hope that whatever detours you’re facing you realize that there’s purpose and meaning for it. Maybe you’re being redirected because there’s nothing for you down the road that you’re on.

We are learning everyday to trust that the Lord’s plans are greater than anything we could come up with on our own. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.”

Detours may cause frustration but every time they produce growth & an opportunity to seek His will… And ultimately His blessings.

Better learn to embrace the detours.

I cannot count the number of times I’ve had someone tell me, Don’t beat yourself up!

Apparently I’m not alone. There are many “people-pleasing” folk out there like me who are way too hard on themselves…and really for no good reason. I wish I could say I have a mild tendency to beat myself up, but I’d be lying. I am my own worst critic about everything- self-image, child raising, cooking, writing… I could go on.

I always knew this was an area of my life that needed to be addressed, but it wasn’t until recently that I realized how much damage was (and is) being done. And it took a photo of Gideon to finally get my attention.

I love photos of sleeping babies (especially my own), but the one above highlighted something about Gideon that breaks my heart as a parent- the physical damage he does when he hits himself. In fact, just a few hours before I took this photo, he was self-stemming (hitting himself), and I actually said to him “don’t beat yourself up!”

As I looked at that photo and reminisced my own statement, I felt as if God was saying, “I feel the same way every time you beat yourself up.” It became clear that Gideon’s bruises were an outward reflection of my own inward beatings. Meaning the damage my son does to himself is visible; but over the years, I’ve done so much more invisible, self-damage with every harsh word and criticism.

Just like I don’t want Gideon to hurt himself, God doesn’t want us to hurt ourselves either. He created us in His image! Psalm 139 says that we were “knit together in our mother’s womb” and therefore we are “fearfully and wonderfully made.” Zephaniah 3:17 says he “delights in us… and rejoices over us with singing.”

Honestly, I’m not sure how we can stop Gideon from hurting himself. I can’t hold his hands down 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. But I do know that, for myself, I can stop any further damage. I can replace Satan’s lies with God’s truth (Zeph 3:17 and Psalm 139 are great places to start!) I can re-read great resources like Lies Women Believe. I can seek guidance and prayer from some great accountability partners.

It’s simple, really. For those of us who don’t have a genetic disorder, it comes down to a choice. We can choose to believe what Satan thinks about us or we can choose to believe what God and His Word SAYS about us.

I think it’s important to also mention that little eyes are watching and little ears are listening. Our children know how we feel about ourselves. And studies show that our self image can spill over onto them. That concerns me for my 4 year old daughter.

It’s for that reason that I hope and pray that no one will ever again have to tell me, don’t beat yourself up!

Please God, just let him sleep!!

I wonder how many times in the past 14 months I’ve said those exact words. If you’re a parent, chances are you’re all too familiar with that particular plea.

It’s the cry of my heart every time I put Gideon down for a nap or for the night….it was my plea today in the wee hours of the morning (2:30 am) as Gideon sounded like he was auditioning for a Soprano-1 part on Broadway.

I’ve told people recently that I’m not sure whether or not Gideon sleeps through the night any more. And up until this morning, that was true. But now I know he’s definitely not.

Last night I fell asleep with Laynie in her room…which is just across the hall from Gideon. Bad move on my part. You see, we’re mean parents at the Jolicoeur household. Since most kids with PBD have trouble sleeping, we have decided to turn the monitor off, shut the door, & turn on a loud fan…just so we don’t hear Gideon talk or cry.

In fact, I’m one sleepless night away from turning his room sound proof.

Sounds harsh, I know.

But when Gideon was about 10 months old I found myself in that “crazy place.” We moms don’t talk about the crazy place for two reasons- fear of judgement or because we’ve never truly been there. For most moms, the crazy place means that we understand why the nurses had to tell us “when the child is inconsolable, put him down and walk away…DON’T shake the baby!” If you can’t relate, then you had the perfect child- congrats to you.

So back to my early morning plea…God answered my plea at about 3:50 am but since my alarm goes off at 4:20 (for P31), I decided there was no point in going back to bed. To say I was frustrated would be an understatement.

Looking back on it now, I have to admit that my 2:30-am-self was angry with God. Even though He heard and answered my prayers, it wasn’t fast enough. He didn’t allow enough time for me to be able to go back to sleep.

Have you ever felt as if God’s timing is off? Sometimes in my pleading with the Lord I have to stop and read Isaiah 55:8-9 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” 

Obviously the Lord knows something we do not. Therefore, we don’t get a say in the how-and-when-department regarding the plans of Lord. We have to trust that he’s molding and shaping us for whatever is to come. And if that means I conquer today on four hours of sleep, then so be it. His grace will be sufficient and I will lay my head down tonight (with ear plugs if necessary) and I will sleep then.

Maybe you’re like me and you know today is going to be tough- All the more reason to put your hope in the Lord now. Let me leave you with Isaiah 40:31-

But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.