I love meeting new people, but I truly treasure meeting people who have a child with special needs. Something about those folks just warms your heart.

Today I met Beth. She’s a mom of four and her youngest, Seth, was born with hydrocephalus (water on the brain). Seth is 2 years old and he is obviously a miracle. I love it when doctors say “this child will never _____.” Mostly because God usually has something different planned.

Meeting Beth was wonderful because she was able share some some things that would help us in our journey. She shared her insight about having a child with visual and auditory impairment. She shared her wisdom and her tears. And before I left she shared this poem that someone had shared with her. I hope you’ll share it as well.

WELCOME TO HOLLAND

by Emily Perl Kingsley.

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability – to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It’s like this……

When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip – to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland.”

“Holland?!?” you say. “What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I’m supposed to be in Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.”

But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It’s just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It’s just a different place. It’s slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around…. and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills….and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy… and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.”

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away… because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But… if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things … about Holland.

“Hang on… just a second… wait!!” I wonder how many times I say those words to my daughter on a given day. If I had to guess, I’d say too many.

I don’t like waiting. Who does? And yet, I expect my almost-four-year-old to wait-as if she was born with an infinite amount of patience!

It seems like she always wants me to play or watch her do something when I’m trying to take care of Gideon or the house. Many of those things are important and I can justify most of them. But isn’t my daughter just as important and worthy of my time? Absolutely!

Even as I type this my heart aches. You see, we have a behavior problem on our hands. Unfortunately the behavior problem lies with me, not Laynie. I’ve been feeding the lie that certain things need to get done at the expense of my children. Am I the only one guilty of this?

Obviously Laynie needs to wait if I’m feeding or changing Gideon, but why must she have to wait while I do household chores? Or worse, Facebook?? Sometimes things need to be done, but at the expense of losing time with my little girl and boy?? I think not!

I love Darius Rucker. His song puts it into perspective-

“He lays down there beside her, till her eyes finally close,
And just watching her it breaks his heart, cause he already knows,
It won’t be like this for long,
One day soon that little girl is gonna be all grown up and gone,
This phase is gonna fly by, if you can just hold on,
It won’t be like this for long.”

That song gets me every time…and with a sense of urgency. We’ve been given this precious time with our little ones. And they are only little for a moment, just ask an empty nester.

I’ve decided to make a conscious effort to stop asking my Laynie to wait. I’m also asking God help me realize in those moments that I don’t want to waste a second of her time on something that is far less important in the grand scheme of things. For Heavens sake, the laundry can wait! The phone calls can wait!! The time with our kids cannot wait!!

After all, if I’m not giving my kids the time and attention they need, some thing or someone else will. Time is the most valuable thing we can give them. It shows them we love them. It shows them we care. And most importantly it shows them that they matter.

And don’t we all long to know that we matter?

Let’s show our kids they matter. Let’s stop making them wait for our time.

I think most parents will agree with me when I say I want to provide for my kids. Especially when it comes to the essentials. I cannot fathom living day-to-day wondering how I’m going to meet all their needs. Unfortunately, life can be rough. And sometimes we have to withhold provisions from even our precious babies!

Yesterday Gideon had a second ABR (hearing test) in which he had to be sedated. And of course, with sedation comes starvation! I know it’s medically necessary, but withholding food from an infant? That’s just down right cruel! But this isn’t his first rodeo, so even though he knew the drill, he still protested. And rightfully so! The last time he had milk before his 9 am appointment was at 3 am! I’d protest too!

As Kevin and I were trying to console our screaming boy in the waiting room, we were talking about how much it sucks to withhold food from a hungry baby. And you know my man…wise old man that he is… He said, “It’s for his own good… Remember, sometimes God withholds things we need too.”

I just love my husband. He’s so right.

God knows what we need and yet sometimes he withholds those provisions. Even though He withholds, I imagine God still hurts for us. I like to think He cries with us even though He knows the final outcome will be better than anything else we could’ve imagined. (1 Corinthians 2:9)

Thankfully Gideon’s test went well…for the most part. There were some minor hiccups because my baby boy doesn’t like sleep anyways, and just to show how hard headed he is, he woke up twice from sedation!! He gets that strong will/stubbornness from his father. (Love you babe).

Although it was heartbreaking to watch at the time, withholding food from Gideon was obviously in his best interest. You see we knew something he didn’t know. He didn’t understand that he could’ve aspirated and choked during the sedation, had we fed him. All he knew was the rumble of pain in his belly- telling him food was needed now! And he let us know all about it!

Isn’t that how we all respond when provisions are withheld? We cry out to God “I need  _________ now!” You can fill that blank with any need- a job, healing, relief, money, a child, a spouse, a miracle, etc. We often forget that God knows our needs before we ask. (Matthew 6:8)

Are you in need right now? Maybe you’ve been in need for months, maybe years. Though you have fervently prayed for that need to be met, maybe God has withheld answering that prayer. Would you trust Him that He has something better in mind? Or maybe you’re like me and you’ve pleaded desperately for God to heal your loved one. Although He is able, He may not…for reasons we may never understand this side of Heaven. The apostle Paul knew all about that. (2 Corinthians 12:7)

Hard as your situation may be, you can be sure of this- Something bigger and better is at work!! 1 Corinthians 2:9 (HCSB) says “What eye did not see and ear did not hear, and what never entered the human mind—God prepared this for those who love Him.” Even though it may cause us tremendous heartache and an abundance of tears, our suffering is NEVER wasted.

I believe God will provide. Matthew 6:26 says, “Look at the birds of the air, they neither sow nor reap nor gather in barns, and yet your Heavenly Fathers feeds them.” But I also believe sometimes God allows us to stay in our continued state of longing so that we can persevere. After all our perseverance produces character, and character, hope. (Romans 5:3-4)

Gideon’s hope is in us to provide for his needs. He was hoping we would feed him; and because we knew something he didn’t, Gideon (unwillingly) had to wait. Would you put your Hope in Christ? And trust, just like an infant trusts his parents, that God will provide? Even if it’s not the outcome you were praying for…would you be satisfied to know that there’s purpose in the wait? God’s provisions are always worth the wait.