When I was 12 years old my sister Traci was paralyzed in a car wreck. Talk about having your world turned upside down. As a parent now, I can understand the fears & hopelessness that my parents must have felt when the doctor said, “She’ll never walk again.” There’s something that makes us physically ill when we can’t fix what’s wrong with our children.
All I remember from 1997 is going to visit my sister; whether it was for the 6 weeks she spent in ICU or the 4 months she was at Baylor Rehab- we were always there with her and I was glad. Even at the age of 12, I knew she was lucky. Most people we met in ICU lost their loved ones. On Easter weekend the doctors told us Traci wouldn’t make it through the night, but she did- and we praised God! When she went to Rehab, we met a family who had a loved one who couldn’t even move his arms. He was learning how to use a chair powered by air from his mouth. My sister could do more than he could.
It could always be worse. I learned that at a young age; and not because everyone told me… although many people did. I remember distinctly coming to that conclusion all on my own. When you cry with other families who’ve lost loved ones…when you see the despair of a person who can no longer do anything for himself… it’s easy to draw that conclusion.
Saying it is one thing. Learning to believe it is another. We all feel sorry for ourselves from time to time. And there’s nothing wrong with that! The problem occurs, when we stay in that state of mind. If I’ve learned anything from my first week of blogging, it’s that the situation can always be worse.
I’m beyond grateful for the people I’ve encountered; who have so lovingly shared their stories with me regarding their situations. Without breaking anyone’s confidence, let me share a few reasons I’m grateful..
- My son is still alive- So many families have laid their sweet, God given children to rest. My heart breaks for you. My prayers go out to you. And for every mother, who so desperately wishes to conceive, but for whatever reason hasn’t, my heart and prayers are with you as well. “He heals the brokenhearted, binding up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3
- My son is able to swallow and breathe on his own- Many babies with peroxisomal genetic disorders cannot do those things. If that’s your baby, I’m praying you feel the presence of God because I don’t how I would handle that. God, give those moms & dads strength and endurance, they are SO tired!! “God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble.” Psalm 46:1
- My husband, family & friends are here to help- If you are going through something like this on your own, I am weeping for you! Please, search the web and find an organization to support you!! For me, it’s been the Global Foundation of Peroxisomal Disorders (GFPD). http://www.thegfpd.org/ I’m not sure what journey you’re on, but there is support out there for you! FIND it! If you can’t, ask me and I’ll find it for you! You were NOT meant to walk in this alone! “When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you.” Isaiah 43:2
I could go on and on. I’m thankful for so many things. I know it could always be worse. I believe God used my sister’s accident 16 years ago, so I could be prepared for this season of my life. What has God been preparing you for? Do you know your life has a purpose? The pain you’ve experienced was not caused by God. We live in a fallen world with free will. And while God may have allowed some horrible things to come into your life, He can use those things to bring about good!! Will you let Him? Romans 8:28 is what we call our “family verse.”
“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”
Ultimately, Gideon’s prognosis sucks. I wouldn’t wish a terminal diagnosis on my worst enemy. All that said, I still trust God will work it for good- and I can see that He already is!!
God wants someone to hear our son’s story. Maybe that’s you. In the book of Judges, there’s a man named Gideon. God used him to bring his people back to heart of God. Is God using my little warrior’s situation to do the same? I think so. We are trusting God with this because we know it will get worse. And when it does, we will remember 1 Peter 1:7 – These trials have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.
Lord, may these trials prove our faith genuine. Amen.
Sam, you are truly an inspiration. I’m proud to know such a strong wonderful woman! I admire your strength and ability to express your thoughts and outlook so clearly. I will keep you, your family, and Gideon’s team of Dr.’s in my prayers.
Nichole, thank you so much. You’re prayers are greatly appreciated!! They mean more than you know! God bless!!
Hi Samantha, as I read your blog holding my 6 month old twins tears well up in my eyes. I cry because of the age closeness of our sons, because what your going through as a mom is heartbreaking, and because Your faith is amazing. I don’t know how people make it trough trials like these without fully trusting in The Lord. He is the only one that can give strength during these times, I am so glad you are able to see the good in this. Without rambling too much, I wanted to let you know that I’m saying prayers here in Southern California for your sweet family. May Gideon’s sweet life be used to change others lives for the good and bring those around you to know The Lord, your faith is shining Samantha.
Nicole, thank you so much!! I agree. I don’t know how people go through anything difficult without The Lord. Congrats on your twins!!! You must be double tired with your double blessing! I appreciate you taking the time to write me. God bless you and thanks again for lifting my spirits!! 🙂
We played tball with you guys this spring. Liam was my son? I went to HS with your sis too. You have such amazing strength! We will be praying for you guys. 🙂
Cheri! I remember you and sweet Liam!! Crazy small world huh?? Thanks for taking the time to read my blog and thanks for your prayers. 🙂
Wow! So awesome! I LOVE the part about Gideon bringing people’s hearts back to God!! So true !! Praying for you!
Thank you Sheena!! I appreciate you taking the time to read. 🙂
Beautifully written – this brought tears to my eyes. When Levi first died, I hated Romans 8:28. It felt like one of those verses that people just throw your way when they don’t know what else to say. Now, a few years down the road from that time of my life, I have a new perspective. You see, while I would given absolutely anything to have never gone through the death of my son, without it, I most likely wouldn’t have Quinn and I wouldn’t be a few months away from the adoption of a daughter. I wouldn’t have a story to give hope to other grieving mothers and I wouldn’t have the empathy I have now. Sam, I love your heart and your perspective. I know it still hurts, but the Lord is rejoicing in your worship of Him. Praying for you daily.
Thank you for sharing Amy! You have a beautiful story because you’ve allowed God use every every tear and every circumstance. I’m so thankful to call you my friend and my sister in Christ. Thanks for being there for me during this season of my life. I love you and your family so much!
You are Ana amazing and strong (and I’m sure terrified) woman. To share this story…thank you. I cuddled my two year old a little harder while I read this.
I do have a story I have only partially shared. I think I will be sharing my story an that of my mother in the coming days. Maybe our heartbreak and miracles will help bring families closer to God.
Thank you for sharing. My prayers will include your beautiful family, especially your precious son. But even more, you. The mother who carried, birthed, and loves a precious baby. What an amazing mother you are. You will come through this with God holding you in his arms. The love you feel for your child is nothing compared to what God feels for you both. Lean in him.
Love and prayers from Tennessee,
Kira
Kira!! From the depths of my soul, I say thank you!! What an encouragement you are!! I want to encourage you to share your story. I was hesitant at first but now I don’t why. Sharing has been the BEST thing I’ve done since we’ve been on this journey. The support and love is indescribable. And the best part is, God is receiving the glory!!! He WILL use yours as well to bring people to Him. Don’t wait another day!! I will lift you up in prayer as you embark on your journey. I don’t know you but I love you. And I’m so grateful you messaged me!! God bless!!!
Thank you for that reminder!!! My mom spent 4 months in the hospital earlier this year. She is young (50) and has never smoked but was put on oxygen because she could not breathe, eventually she wound up on life support and I spent EVERY WAKING HOUR with her. To this day, even with sedation she says she felt me there with her, she remembers everything I said to her, every giggle my 2 year old made, every time I rubbed her foot and every time I told EVERY DETAIL of her journey to a new nurse or passerby. I did talk to other people about my age who were taking their loved ones home on hospice. When she went to rehab to get her mobility back we brought her balloons saying “Good job! Way to go! and I love you!” while others simply gave up. My mom has been back at work about 6 weeks, drives over an hour each way, and is very active while she is there. For all of this I am blessed!
Wow Denise!! What a testimony!! Thank you for sharing your story!!! Your encouragement for her made all the difference. When we know others are fighting for us it makes our journey easier. Carrying each others load is biblical. God bless you for being there for her every step of the way. You are a blessing!!! Thanks again for sharing!!!
wow.. i have been having quite a pity party for myself… thank you… i am not as close to god as i want to be and that is all on me… one day i will find my way. bad luck seems to be like a black cloud hanging over me right now, but i should know better than to keep dwelling on all the bad, it most definitely can always be worse. i have two great boys and a husband and family that love me… and im blessed to know traci through christian who is one of my all time favorite and best friends… so like i said before i should know better than to have this pity party or whatever it is i seem to be having 🙂 thank you for making me see that and thank you for making my day a whole lot brighter. you have a great sister and shes very lucky to have you .. hugs
Thank you for taking the time to read and message me. It means a lot. I’m glad to hear you know my sister and Chris. They are pretty awesome people (but I’m partial!). Praying that you feel the presence of God. He’s always near. No matter how many steps we take away from Him, he’s right behind us. All we have to do is turn around and lean into Him. Thanks again for your encouragement. God bless!
He is close. Those words made me cry. A mixture of happy and sad cry. I’m in a weird place in my life lol. Midlife doesn’t help. I hope god answers all your prayers And thank you again. Can I follow you on other stuff? I don’t blog but I would like to keep up with yours. If I could. I have no clue about blogs though
Of course! You can enter your email address into the subscribe box on my blog, and you will receive an email anytime I update it. Also I have a link set up for you to follow/friend me on Pinterest or Facebook (if you have those types of accounts).
These are two easy verses to memorize. I found comfort in them, and I hope you do as well.
Psalm 46:1
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.
Psalm 62:8
Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.
Praying for you specifically this evening,
Sam