It’s no secret that my family had a very rocky start; and yet, through it all, God has faithfully provided. He’s never left me abandoned to face anything alone. And because of that, I have no doubt that He will continue to carry us through this next chapter with our son, Gideon.
Looking back through my Facebook, I found something that I wrote and posted on November 15, 2009… almost four years ago! If you’ve watched our testimony then you’ll understand how reading this past poem is a blessing to me today…
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11.15.09
As I walk into the worship center this morning, I’m surrounded by familiar faces. It’s a typical Sunday morning and everyone makes their way to their usual places.
Many of the members I know are so full of love and so quick to extend God’s grace. After attending the 8 AM service for the past 9 months, many people know of me and of my case.
However, on occasion, there is someone new who does not know my story. And I’m quickly looked down upon, and again feel inadequate of God’s forgiveness and of His glory.
Assumptions and judgments are so often made in great haste. Do they think I intended to be in a situation where the ending has such a bittersweet taste?
I am a sinner- fallen so many times and in so many ways. But this time is different; I cannot hide my sin and I have refused to make the consequence go away.
I want others to know, being a single mom was never a road I intended to take. But my life lived apart from God has brought me here and now I’m fully awake.
It breaks my heart to think that I brought my family any means of disgrace. But it breaks my heart even more to know that my sin has separated me from God and His face.
But I know longer dwell in shame, for my repentance, I have been redeemed. For Christ has gone in before me- He has pled my case and declared me clean.
My future seems so uncertain, and I don’t know what tomorrow may bring. But I know that Jesus loves me, and that I’m still the daughter of the Most-High King.
So I hold fast to God’s truth, “I am forgiven and I am loved.” Even though I walk this road without a husband, I know Christ- my true groom- carries me (and my child) from above.
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As I look back on this poem it’s a great reminder of what God has brought me through and how much He loves me. It is easy to see when you look at where my family is today!!! God saw my needs back then and heard my cries. He freed me from my guilt and carried me through what seemed like an impossible situation at the time. And this is just one example of how He’s never left me to walk this life on my own!
I love the Bible story of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. Do you remember this story? (If you haven’t read it, please do so! It’s in the book of Daniel, chapter 3.) Just a quick recap, King Nebuchadnezzar had these three men thrown into the blazing furnace because they would not worship the image of gold the king had set up. Of course, after being thrown into the fire, they were unharmed, unbound, and walking around inside the furnace… along with fourth man!! (Daniel 3:25)
Silly as it may sound, I feel as though this story is relevant to my story because of what happened after they were thrown into the fire. Just like God was with them, He was with me through my unplanned pregnancy. But the best part is that I walked away unbound. Remember how the fire burned only that which bound Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego? I think that’s important to realize in this story, because when we face our own trials, God uses those fires to free us- each in a unique way. On November 15, 2009, God freed me from my bondage of regret, sorrow, guilt and shame. What more could I have asked for?!
When I look back, I am amazed at how God works. I want to encourage you to look back on your own life and ask yourself, what has God brought me through? Even if it didn’t have the ending you were hoping for, can you see the good that has come from it? Can you see how no life experience is wasted when placed in the hands of the Almighty? Hopefully you said yes! But if your answer is no, then I believe that God is not yet finished. He’s in the business of creating beauty from pain. The only question is, will you let Him?
I’ll leave you with Romans 8:28. It’s my favorite verse. I memorized it because it reminds me how good God has been despite my circumstances. I highly recommend memorizing it-
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
Looking back, if you have a verse that has been significant in your journey would you please post it in the comment box below so others might be encouraged?
Thanks for sharing!
Romans 8:38-39
Great reminder that nothing separates us from Him! Thanks Chad!
Sweet Sam,
I kinda felt like I was reading my own story. Isn’t our God’s forgiveness and restoration amazing?! God shared many Scriptures with me during my journeybut there are two that really resonate with me. The first one is this:
and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair (Is. 61:3)
I love how He makes for us a crown of beauty out of the ashes we give to Him. Sarah and Laynie are so beautiful, aren’t they? My second Scripture is this:
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be. (Ps. 139:13-16)
He created the lives that grew within us and knew everything we and they would face before any of us breathed one breath on this earth. Wow! Can you imagine a love like that?! We are so incredibly loved by Him! Keep these Truths in mind as you continue on your journey with Gideon…God already knows…He had it all planned out before Gideon was born, but also before you and Kevin were even born! He has a wonderful plan to use your Mighty Warrior as well as the three of you for His glory and your good! O Praise HIM! Love you guys!
Thanks Melanie! I love these verses and I love how our stories are so similar! No one is here by accident, He knew us each intimately before we were born! Great reminder for us because we can look at Gideon and know he’s perfect just the way God made him. 🙂 Thanks for sharing Melanie! I miss you!!!
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares The Lord , “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
I love this one too!! This one has carried me several times! Thanks for sharing!
Zeph 3:17 – The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He takes great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love. He will rejoice over you with singing.
Aw, Meg! I love that you love this one! How perfect since it says “He will rejoice over you with singing!!” SO fitting!!! Love you friend!!
Love the Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego story, I never thought about it that way. God is there when there is fire all around us, but we will not be taken down by the fire and that it actually free us. So cool! It’s amazing to see what God get’s us through and what we learn from those situations. You mentioned:
“Even if it didn’t have the ending you were hoping for, can you see the good that has come from it? Can you see how no life experience is wasted when placed in the hands of the Almighty? ”
This is actually kind of what I’ve been struggling with lately and I have bitterness from it. In fact I just figured out that I was bitter about 2 things in my life. I never thought I was a bitter person, I’ve always thought I forgave someone, even though I still remember what they did to me. But I have come to realize I truly haven’t forgiven them, plus do I have bitterness at God for allowing these events to happen to me? I sit around thinking poor me, I can’t believe them, and then anger comes forth as if I was back in that situation. I think I do have a hard time letting it go because those are the only 2 events in my life that I can’t figure out why they happened? Romans 8:28 is also my favorite verse, but I cannot figure out how this verse works with these 2 events, I don’t see any good that resulted in these? Some day I’m just going to have to ask God what His plan was with that? But in the mean time; I have found a great little lesson that has helped me get over this or at least work at getting over it: http://bible-truth.org/msg162.html
And the verse to go with it:
Ephesians 4:29-32
“Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.”
Jacey, even though we’ve never met, I just love you! Your honesty is so refreshing and I’m loving the fact that you’re willing to tell God, “I just don’t get what good can come of it?!!” I think in situations like yours when you can’t see the good, others can. I have no clue what 2 things you’re referring too but your honesty about them gives me encouragement. So maybe that’s one part of how God’s not wasting those circumstances. Others know you’re hurting from this and yet you’re still trusting God through it! That speaks volumes to believers and non-believers as well!! I will pray that God will give you more of a glimpse of how He’s using this.
Thank you for sharing friend! Always a pleasure to hear from you!!
The Lord will fight for you, you need only be silent. Exodus 14:14
LOVE this one!! Thanks Jennifer!!
Such a great post today! I work with Kevin and have enjoyed your blog this year! Love how you teach so many people and reach so many people about God! You are such a strong woman and everytime I read your posts I’m touched at how eloquently you speak! Here is my favorite verse: “God is our refuge and strength. An ever-present help in trouble.” Psalms 46:1. Much love to your family!
Stephanie, I love Psalm 46:1! Thank you for sharing!! Also, thank you for your words of encouragement! I cannot stress enough how blessed we feel that Kevin is at Abbett. You guys have been amazing and so kind. Thank you for supporting our family and for reading my blog. God bless!
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33
This one encourages me and really just reminds me of the power we have by walking in his truth. Nothing is too big! Your story is evidence of that! Praying for you and your sweet family!
Thanks Katie for your encouraging words and for sharing your favorite verse!! We appreciate your prayers!! 🙂 God bless you and yours!
Isaiah 41:10
New International Version (NIV)
10 So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
I love this verse! What an awesome God we serve!
GREAT verse!! Thanks for sharing!!